So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
just found out that she named her cat after me.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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