I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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