I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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