We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I understand Curling. That high.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
