Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
