So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
