love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
