he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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