Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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