come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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