i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
