I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
