the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
