Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
