Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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