we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
