He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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