i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
