I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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