I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
