i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
