We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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