i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
