I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
