once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
