you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
