her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
