the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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