I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
