70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Randomize
