Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
