he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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