almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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