NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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