is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Can I color on your dick again?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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