literally had 100 drinks last night.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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