you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize