drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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