He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
