Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
