At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
high people should be assigned attendants
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
