Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
