need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
