it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
