I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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