It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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