i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
