i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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