ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
