sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
