He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
