Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
