how can u be prego again
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize