the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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