You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
