He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
