He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
