Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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