I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
