I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
